Non-Command Sponsored ROK life to come!

We’re knee deep in ALL the OCONUS PCS prep! Now that we have notification that we’re doing this move non-CSP (Command Sponsored), it’s added another level to this already massive undertaking. I can’t help but think of how much life surprises you. I never would have imagined I’d be moving myself and my kids all the way across the world on our own, but here we are.

For those who don’t know, command sponsorship is the process that you take to have the military fund your PCS move to an OCONUS (outside of the continental United States) location. We are technically able to live anywhere in the world without the military’s approval so we’re able to go even if they don’t fund it. We still receive most of the same benefits once we arrive in country, but it makes the process of getting there a little more complicated. I have learned that there are hundreds of families living in South Korea non-command sponsored.

This is way too big of an opportunity for our family to pass up. We already love so much about Korea and we’re not even there yet. Plus, since I was able to live in Germany as a kid I always wanted my children to have an experience such as this. Experiencing another culture is a once in a lifetime opportunity that the military sometimes gives and one that we’ve prayed for for years. We also made a decision for our family years ago that we would never separate by choice if there was any way that we could possibly help it. We even lived in a rented camper for 3 months to be with Ryan while he was training in Ft Eustis, VA…and have some of the sweetest memories of that time.

We’re still appealing the decision made by EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program), but I don’t have an incredible amount of faith in how the process works. However, we would greatly appreciate prayers that we would receive a miracle and the Army will overturn their decision! It would definitely be a huge financial blessing. We’re so excited for all that is to come!

Hurry up and wait!

The hurry up and wait continues!! This time for Command Sponsorship. All 6 of us completed our medical appointments, our screening is finished, our 180 window to submit opened up and we FINALLY have confirmation that our request packet was received. Now we wait and pray and (try) not to stress about being approved to accompany our hero on an amazing adventure.

The unit has 30 days to respond back with a yay or nay, but really they can take as much time as they want (it is the Army after all).

The unknown. This is the hardest part about the military life, for me. You’d think after growing up as an Army BRAT, working as a contractor, and being with Ryan for the last almost 12 years that I’d be used to it! However, I still struggle with having little control over decisions like this and just trusting the process.

We prayed so very much for these orders. Very specific prayers and while God doesn’t always say “yes”, I believe Korea was definitely a “God thing” for so many reasons. Only He could have orchestrated these orders and I have to believe that He’s not going to just answer part of my prayers. However, the flesh in me is weak and there are all of those doubts that whisper “what if?” I have my moments, but mostly I have a peace about the whole situation and I know that God’s ways are best. Whatever the plan is, I know He is going to look out for us and lead us where and when He wants us to go.

For now, we pray and we wait…

South Korea, Here We Come!!!

The last 7 months of waiting, praying, hoping and networking has finally been decided. The Army has spoken and we’re calling Camp Humphreys, South Korea home for the next 2-3(ish) years.

It’s long been our dream that we’d be able to take our kids OCONUS and to have an amazing experiences, and we feel so incredibly blessed to be afforded this opportunity. We’re jumping in with all 6 sets of feet and learning all we can about the culture and are so anxious to explore the sites, smells, TASTE, and people of the ROK.

As can be expected, with the exciting news of an OCONUS (outside the continental United States) comes some nerves. Will we get approved for command sponsorship so our whole family can afford to accompany Ryan? How will our kids handle such big change? Can we accomplish everything that we need to do in time?

Stay tuned!! We can’t wait to share all of our adventures as we journey across the world with FOUR kids FIVE and under.

What if it’s okay to be dependent?

The government may call us “dependents”, but as military spouses we pride ourselves on being “independent”. We don’t really have much choice in the matter. Whether you “chose” this life or were thrown into the deep end, you don’t always know what you’re getting into, but you have to learn to operate without your service member.

We endure pregnancy on our own, have babies alone, raise children for weeks and months by ourselves…it’s what we do. We take care of the house, the car, the finances, work jobs or continue our education, attend weddings-funerals-graduations, homeschool children, shuffle them to activities, and hold them in the night when they’re scared and miss Daddy (or Mommy).

I’ve read so many blog posts touting our independence and our refusal to be called “dependents”. But, what if (insert gasp) it’s OKAY to be dependent?

But, what if it’s OKAY to be dependent?

I was the epitome of independent when Ryan and I started dating. I didn’t get married until I was 29 and by then had accepted contracting jobs in two different states managing security departments with teams of people. I had a high rise condo on Miami beach…. I didn’t “need” a man. I put myself through college while working full time and enduring our first deployment together. I wanted a partner and someone with whom to share my life. I didn’t have anything left to prove.

My husband is my absolute best friend. We are 100% a TEAM and have been since Day 1. He taught me that good guys exist, that unconditional/agape love is what marriage is all about. Yes, I’m exclusively a stay at home mom now, but he still sees our children as his and he’s never “babysat”. He ADORES our kids and is so active in their lives. He runs to their room at night when they cry for him often before i’ve even processed what’s going on. I couldn’t have succeeded at breastfeeding if he hadn’t been up at EVERY feeding changing their diapers, he was involved in every bath…he was there for EVERY appointment that the Army allowed him to be while I was pregnant and even when we were enduring infertility. He cleans (better than I do) and a million other things that I could brag about until the end of time.

When he’s gone I do miss all of the help, but mostly I miss my best friend. I miss snuggling on his chest or wrapped up in his arms at night (yes, we’re THAT couple that still cuddles almost 7 years into our marriage). I miss the inside jokes, the foot rubs at night while we discuss politics or sports or silly memes on the internet. We enjoy all of the same activities, the same TV shows, and i’m a total dude that will scream at the TV with our sports teams as much if not more than he does. We’re also extremely mushy to the extent of grossing people out and making them think we’re faking it. I don’t need “breaks” from my husband.

I say all of this to report that it’s OKAY to depend on your husband. It doesn’t make you weak. Yes, I survive without him, but there is always an ache in my heart. It doesn’t make me weak to admit that I need my best friend and my soulmate. God created him just for me and marriages aren’t meant to be spent 1000’s of miles away from each other for months on end. We do it because we believe in a calling higher than ourselves. I do it because I love him and he’s worth it. But that doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”

PCS Adventures with Toddlers

Let’s talk road trips with toddlers! In December, 2 weeks before Christmas, we PCS’d or moved from Fort Rucker, Alabama to Fort Drum, New York. It was about 1200 miles total and we broke it up into 6 days so we could have fun and not rush it. We’re no strangers to PCS’ing since this was our 3rd, but it’s the longest distance we’ve gone and the kids weren’t babies anymore. (I still can’t decide which is harder…toddlers or breastfed but sleepy babies.

By the Numbers:
2 Vehicles
2 Adults
2 2-year olds
1 RV/camper
1 Boston Terrier
8 Total states!

Tip 1: Break up the trip: We stopped for overnights in Fort Campbell, KY – Lebanon, OH – and Buffalo, NY to break it up and see friends and family along the way. It gave the kids a chance to run, play, and get some wiggles out without being cooped up in the car all day everyday. This made the trip a lot more fun and way less stress…for the most part!  We also had our camper so we had a familiar place to stay every night that gave the kids a sense of normalcy.  By the time we arrived in New York, however, we were all tired and definitely ready to get settled!

Tip 2: Every day the kids received a new toy to play with to start off the drive with something fun and exciting. This helped for a whole 10-20 minutes every day 🙂

Tip 3: I always swore I wouldn’t be “that parent”, but we installed a Kindle in between their seats so that they could watch movies when they became truly restless. We are “extended rear-facing” so my van’s DVD player wouldn’t help us in this situation. I purchased a $20 arm that attached to the headrest and it worked like a charm!

In the end, we do what works to keep everyone sane and mostly happy. What tips and tricks do you have from a move or relocation with kids?

My Calling

In April, I worked my last day of my career in national security/government contracting to fulfill my dream of focusing on my husband and my kids.  Long before we were married, Ryan and I discussed our joint desire to be able to reach a point of financial security to allow me to stay home with our future children.  Being a military family comes with many challenges and I wanted to be as present as possible in our children’s lives.  While I commend dual military families and those with multiple careers (seriously, that’s tough work to balance it all!), I always knew it wasn’t for me.

Often, reality can feel different from our dreams.  Since that time i’ve struggled to find my identity beyond being a wife and a mother.  We often find our self-worth within our career or chosen profession, and all of my dreams have or are coming true.  But was this enough?  Society often pushes us to “want more” for ourselves and that we should strive to have it all: the husband, the kids, the top of a corporation…and the white picket fence.  Was it okay to “just” be a wife and a mom?  Could I REALLY be the driving force behind my family?

What if it’s OKAY that my role IS to be a military spouse and a mom?  What if that is my calling and my “mission field”?  I know that God is using me to encourage and lift up/support my husband as he serves our Country.  I know that God is using me to be engaged in our children’s lives and to set the example.  And I know that He is going to use me to pour back into the lives of other military spouses and families.  How will my mindset change and what more can I do if I transform my thoughts into THIS being my calling?  God has called my heart since I was a young girl and wanted to marry a soldier and to stay in the only life I ever knew.

What if it’s OKAY that my role IS to be a military spouse and a mom?

I’ve recently joined a book discussion group with a friend that started it in her home and we are diving into the book “Wife of a Soldier, a Journey of Faith” and today I had the great pleasure of meeting the author.  It’s been speaking to my heart and I highly recommend reading it, no matter your situation as a military spouse.  Diana Jeurgens describes how God has called each of us to this role for a reason.  It’s no mistake that I grew up wanting this life, that I married Ryan, that these kids were given to us to raise.

This military life can be exciting and stressful, lonely and friendly…it’s all in how we view it.  I know that i’ll still be human and have my moments that I hate the separations, deployments, and LATE duty nights…but oh, what a wonderful life this can be as well!

I’m not sure what the distant future holds for our family, but i’m so excited to serve God where He’s placed me for this season.  My husband has a very difficult role to play and I know that God has called me to be his supporter and to take care of our life on the home front.   I’m anxious to arrive at our next duty station in New York and I already feel led to a few areas of opportunity!

Melissa G.

PCS Organization

I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with organization and it’s never come easy for me.  However, there are two times where my life is dress right dress: tax season and PCS time!

Moving at any point, much less with the military, can be chaotic and stressful; every little thing you can do to combat that is important!

I’ve kept a PCS binder on hand since our first move from Ft. Bragg to HAAF which has made it easier for other PCS’s.  All I have to do is purge the unnecessary info (which gets scanned and stored on the server, because i’m slightly a nerd) and update information that’s changed.  I also pull out the important docs that stay filed in locked fireproof boxes.  Now that we’ve added two kids and a dog since that first move, the included items have shifted a bit.

Below i’ve included a list of items that we’ve found to be beneficial for our family.  Bear in mind, my husband keeps his own storage clipboard with his necessary documents for in-processing so I haven’t listed those here.

1. Important documents: Socials, Passports, etc.  I also keep a clear pocket for receipts/loose documents.
2. Local Info: Details about the installation and local area that we’ve found.
3. Birth/Marriage Certificates
4. Insurance Information
5. Government PCS Rate/Compensation Info.
6. Drum Housing Info & Paperwork.
7. Outgoing Housing CHecklists, etc.
8. Kids’ Vaccinations & Records (You could also carry hard copies of any necessary prescriptions until you get established).
9. Pet Shot Records
10. Notes (Loose leaf paper)

For this move i’ve also included a Do It Yourself or “DITY” checklist.  (The Army calls this a PPM now or Personally Procured Move).  There’s nothing worse than getting to a new house and realizing you have nothing to cook with!  Hopefully this will help to keep ourselves straight.

Finally, I take pictures of our furniture and electronics with serial numbers and keep the thumb drive in the binder with us for future claims.

On packing day, the kids and I mostly hang out in the “Don’t Touch Room” where we keep everything that we will be hand carrying with us.  This way we don’t have to worry about anything accidentally getting packed by the movers.

I hope this helps for your future PCS moves!  Do you have any additions that I have forgotten?

~Melissa G.

Adventures in NOLA

When we first received our orders for Ft. Rucker and Ryan was picked up for flight school we added New Orleans to our “Duty Station Bucket List”. Our time here is running out quicker than we expected and time has definitely gotten away from us, so we had to fit in a quick weekend trip over Columbus Day weekend.

Our latest camping adventure in “Roo” we checked off Mississippi and Louisiana. We stopped in MS to check out a giant oak tree across from the beach that has survived many hurricanes (including Cat 5s!) and has been there for 500 years! Friendship Oak was pretty and the kids appreciated the break up from the drive and the ability to get some of those never-ending toddler wiggles out.

I was thrilled to finally stay right on the water (which I’ve been determined to do since we bought our camper back in March) and we were very impressed with the campground. Convenience store on-site, house boats and its own restaurant (they served delicious smoked meat and jambalaya. (Pontchartrain Landing)

Downtown NOLA was a city in its very own league with so much character. Dogs are everywhere and even welcomed in the restaurants and bars, and the people were eclectic but fun. It’s a tough and resilient crowd and a blend of so many cultures. We took the kids on a carriage ride with a mule and toured the oldest above ground graveyard in America.

Finally, we were able to spend a few hours at the National WW2 Museum, which did not even do it justice. I highly recommend allowing yourself a few days to spend there if you’re a history nerd like Ryan and I are.

We’d definitely love to go back someday and possibly see Ryan’s mama’s Saints play in the Super Dome!

Check out some of our pics below:

Flight School ~ PCS ORDERS ~

The other big, important day while in flight school is the day you receive your orders for your follow-on duty station!  The aviators are allowed to maintain a list of the Top 3 places that they would like to go, and the Army (most of the time) attempts to grant it to you and your family.  As with anything in the Army, nothing is guaranteed, and it’s both exciting and nerve-wracking waiting for these to come through!

“They say” can often get you into trouble and for us it did.  We were told an average of 4-6 weeks from selection he’d receive the draft of his orders telling him where we’d be sent next.  4-6 weeks turned into 7, then 8….then the rest of his class (all but Ryan and 1 other) received their orders.  I’ll admit, I didn’t handle this frustration in the most graceful way!  I’ve moved around my entire life as an Army Brat turned federal contractor, turned Army wife.  Literally my first passport had my hospital birth picture.  However, we’ve been trying to get back up North for 7 years.  Ryan’s first duty station was supposed to be Alaska…then those were pulled for Ft. Bragg.  Ugh!  Our family is in Maine and New England will always be HOME, so we were so anxious to find out if our hopes would come true!

FINALLY, 9 weeks from selection and halfway through his advanced airframe training his orders came through!!

And our next duty station is….

FT DRUM, NEW YORK!!!!!!!!

Ft. Drum was our #1 choice and we were praying so hard that Ryan would get selected to go!!!!!  We are beyond excited for the next chapter of our story and to FINALLY be back closer to home.  It’s about 7 hours back to our home town in Maine which is the closest we can get.  We are so thankful for snow…and 4 seasons!

FLY TO GLORY!!!!!

Flight School ~ SELECTION ~

Life in an active duty Army family comes with many tear-jerking and monumental moments for your soldier and your family.  Some are sad and oh so difficult…while others can be some of the most memorable moments of your life.

Ryan (and TeamGrim) has had many of those!  Flight School on the Warrant Officer side (there are Commissioned Officers as well) goes through several phases which are best broken down as follows:

1. WOCS: Warrant Officer Candidate School.  About 5 weeks of training that is worse than basic (according to Ryan haha) that breaks down the enlisted soldier to turn them into an officer.  At the end is a very special graduation where your loved one(s) can pin your new rank on you.  Logan & Emma (and I) had the privilege 🙂
2. WOBC (A) Follow-on Training for their rank that lasts for about 3 weeks.
3. SERE/Dunker: Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape.  POW training that is called the best worst school you can attend in the army.  Ryan already had this training so he able to bypass it.  Dunker/HOST teaches them how to survive a water landing and techniques for water survival.
4. Finally, FLIGHT SCHOOL BEGINS: This is being revamped by the Army, but Ryan’s was broken into a few different sections of training where he had “check rides” showing his proficiency in each before he was able to proceed.

At the end of this first portion of training a very special and much anticipated day arrives that determines the course for the rest of their careers: ADVANCED AIR FRAME SELECTION DAY!!!!!!!

Up until Selection Day the active duty flight school students have no idea what air frames will be available when they walk into that room!  The board will be revealed (dramatically!) and each student is able to pick their bird from the ones that are available based on the OML (Order of Merit List: ranking by their grades in school, check ride grades, PT Test, etc.).  The OML is so competitive that the top people are usually only separated by .001 of a point!!!  These people are truly the best of the best in the army!

Since Ryan spent the first 7+ years of his career as a Chinook maintainer his heart belongs to the big girl.  We prayed so much over the course of our time here that he’d be able to have his number 1 pick.  Of course, he would have loved any rotary wing, but to get your #1 is incredibly special.  To add to the intensity, there are well under 200 slots a year so it’s the hardest airframe to choose!  Most classes have 1-2, if any, and Ryan’s class had 8 slots available for Warrant Officers!!!!

“You guys, God is an on-time God and His timing is ALWAYS perfect.”

This was totally a God thing!  When Ryan’s packet took a while to get a waiver and a few pieces of the puzzle to come together I told him it was all God’s timing.  I said “I’m claiming it and God’s trying to put you in a class flooded with Chinooks!!!  You guys, God is an on time God and His timing is ALWAYS perfect.  He’s taught us over and over again to lean on Him and one of these days maybe it will stop blowing me away.

From here Ryan will move on to his Chinook training that will last approximately 16 weeks.  After that he’ll got another short training to pick up his CW2 rank and he’ll be able to pin on those wings at his graduation!!