Non-Command Sponsored ROK life to come!

We’re knee deep in ALL the OCONUS PCS prep! Now that we have notification that we’re doing this move non-CSP (Command Sponsored), it’s added another level to this already massive undertaking. I can’t help but think of how much life surprises you. I never would have imagined I’d be moving myself and my kids all the way across the world on our own, but here we are.

For those who don’t know, command sponsorship is the process that you take to have the military fund your PCS move to an OCONUS (outside of the continental United States) location. We are technically able to live anywhere in the world without the military’s approval so we’re able to go even if they don’t fund it. We still receive most of the same benefits once we arrive in country, but it makes the process of getting there a little more complicated. I have learned that there are hundreds of families living in South Korea non-command sponsored.

This is way too big of an opportunity for our family to pass up. We already love so much about Korea and we’re not even there yet. Plus, since I was able to live in Germany as a kid I always wanted my children to have an experience such as this. Experiencing another culture is a once in a lifetime opportunity that the military sometimes gives and one that we’ve prayed for for years. We also made a decision for our family years ago that we would never separate by choice if there was any way that we could possibly help it. We even lived in a rented camper for 3 months to be with Ryan while he was training in Ft Eustis, VA…and have some of the sweetest memories of that time.

We’re still appealing the decision made by EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program), but I don’t have an incredible amount of faith in how the process works. However, we would greatly appreciate prayers that we would receive a miracle and the Army will overturn their decision! It would definitely be a huge financial blessing. We’re so excited for all that is to come!

Hurry up and wait!

The hurry up and wait continues!! This time for Command Sponsorship. All 6 of us completed our medical appointments, our screening is finished, our 180 window to submit opened up and we FINALLY have confirmation that our request packet was received. Now we wait and pray and (try) not to stress about being approved to accompany our hero on an amazing adventure.

The unit has 30 days to respond back with a yay or nay, but really they can take as much time as they want (it is the Army after all).

The unknown. This is the hardest part about the military life, for me. You’d think after growing up as an Army BRAT, working as a contractor, and being with Ryan for the last almost 12 years that I’d be used to it! However, I still struggle with having little control over decisions like this and just trusting the process.

We prayed so very much for these orders. Very specific prayers and while God doesn’t always say “yes”, I believe Korea was definitely a “God thing” for so many reasons. Only He could have orchestrated these orders and I have to believe that He’s not going to just answer part of my prayers. However, the flesh in me is weak and there are all of those doubts that whisper “what if?” I have my moments, but mostly I have a peace about the whole situation and I know that God’s ways are best. Whatever the plan is, I know He is going to look out for us and lead us where and when He wants us to go.

For now, we pray and we wait…

South Korea, Here We Come!!!

The last 7 months of waiting, praying, hoping and networking has finally been decided. The Army has spoken and we’re calling Camp Humphreys, South Korea home for the next 2-3(ish) years.

It’s long been our dream that we’d be able to take our kids OCONUS and to have an amazing experiences, and we feel so incredibly blessed to be afforded this opportunity. We’re jumping in with all 6 sets of feet and learning all we can about the culture and are so anxious to explore the sites, smells, TASTE, and people of the ROK.

As can be expected, with the exciting news of an OCONUS (outside the continental United States) comes some nerves. Will we get approved for command sponsorship so our whole family can afford to accompany Ryan? How will our kids handle such big change? Can we accomplish everything that we need to do in time?

Stay tuned!! We can’t wait to share all of our adventures as we journey across the world with FOUR kids FIVE and under.

Happily Grim Update!

Life has been incredibly interesting for us over the last year. God has blessed us immensely and we’re settling into our new routine as a family of 6 with two sets of twins under 5!!

Our family is finally complete!

Since I last shared on here, I underwent a FET cycle (Frozen Embryo Transfer – more on that later) and we successfully became pregnant with wonderful and beautiful twin girls who are the perfect completion to our family. God knew just what we needed and we couldn’t have built our family any better. He far exceeded our wildest expectations or dreams. It was a bit of a rough journey, but I would seriously do every single bit of it again to end up where we are.

In July we finally welcomed our hero HOME SAFE from his latest combat deployment. The deployment with all of the craziness of the world, as well as a twin pregnancy for me, was definitely a period of growth for our entire family.

Elliana Raegan and Ensley Raechel were on in October, 6 weeks earlier than their scheduled due date. I’ll be sharing more on their birth story as well. Our warrior girls spent 15 days in the NICU before we were finally able to bring them home with us. It was one of the hardest periods of our time for our family and i’m still processing everything that happened.

Logan & Emma are in their second year of homeschool (Pre-K). We’ve had a lot of fun with it, but I’m learning to show myself and them a bit of grace as we adapt to having two infants added to our daily crew.

So, there you have it. Thanks for sticking with us, and stay tuned to hear more about these crazy adventures and how we’re adapting to our journey. My goal is to document more of our life experiences as we go…as life permits! 😉

~Melissa

What if it’s okay to be dependent?

The government may call us “dependents”, but as military spouses we pride ourselves on being “independent”. We don’t really have much choice in the matter. Whether you “chose” this life or were thrown into the deep end, you don’t always know what you’re getting into, but you have to learn to operate without your service member.

We endure pregnancy on our own, have babies alone, raise children for weeks and months by ourselves…it’s what we do. We take care of the house, the car, the finances, work jobs or continue our education, attend weddings-funerals-graduations, homeschool children, shuffle them to activities, and hold them in the night when they’re scared and miss Daddy (or Mommy).

I’ve read so many blog posts touting our independence and our refusal to be called “dependents”. But, what if (insert gasp) it’s OKAY to be dependent?

But, what if it’s OKAY to be dependent?

I was the epitome of independent when Ryan and I started dating. I didn’t get married until I was 29 and by then had accepted contracting jobs in two different states managing security departments with teams of people. I had a high rise condo on Miami beach…. I didn’t “need” a man. I put myself through college while working full time and enduring our first deployment together. I wanted a partner and someone with whom to share my life. I didn’t have anything left to prove.

My husband is my absolute best friend. We are 100% a TEAM and have been since Day 1. He taught me that good guys exist, that unconditional/agape love is what marriage is all about. Yes, I’m exclusively a stay at home mom now, but he still sees our children as his and he’s never “babysat”. He ADORES our kids and is so active in their lives. He runs to their room at night when they cry for him often before i’ve even processed what’s going on. I couldn’t have succeeded at breastfeeding if he hadn’t been up at EVERY feeding changing their diapers, he was involved in every bath…he was there for EVERY appointment that the Army allowed him to be while I was pregnant and even when we were enduring infertility. He cleans (better than I do) and a million other things that I could brag about until the end of time.

When he’s gone I do miss all of the help, but mostly I miss my best friend. I miss snuggling on his chest or wrapped up in his arms at night (yes, we’re THAT couple that still cuddles almost 7 years into our marriage). I miss the inside jokes, the foot rubs at night while we discuss politics or sports or silly memes on the internet. We enjoy all of the same activities, the same TV shows, and i’m a total dude that will scream at the TV with our sports teams as much if not more than he does. We’re also extremely mushy to the extent of grossing people out and making them think we’re faking it. I don’t need “breaks” from my husband.

I say all of this to report that it’s OKAY to depend on your husband. It doesn’t make you weak. Yes, I survive without him, but there is always an ache in my heart. It doesn’t make me weak to admit that I need my best friend and my soulmate. God created him just for me and marriages aren’t meant to be spent 1000’s of miles away from each other for months on end. We do it because we believe in a calling higher than ourselves. I do it because I love him and he’s worth it. But that doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”

Adventures in Homeschooling!

In September #TeamGrim will embark upon our next great adventure: homeschooling!! Since our kiddos are only 3 we are choosing to do mostly informal style of preschool: ie, reading, outdoor exploration in nature, crafts and a few workbook type activities. We’ll be mastering the knowledge and skills necessary for Kindergarten while still having the chance to be kids.

Here’s some information about our new school in case you’re interested:

Mascot: Lions

Bible Verse: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

We chose the name for several different reasons:

• The “North Seeking Arrow” is used when developing navigational maps for aviation. Since Daddy is a Chinook Pilot and our family is engulfed in the aviation world, Ryan’s suggestion seemed almost too obvious.
• The NORTH will always be HOME for us.
• We love adventure and traveling ourselves!
• It was related to two of our favorite scriptures pertaining to school and child-rearing: Proverbs 3:5-6 (Our school verse) and Psalm 127:3-5

Lions were chosen as our mascot for a few reasons as well:

• The Bible often refers to the Lord as a Lion (Lion of Judah: Revelation 5:5; baby Jesus: Luke 2:7; and Revelation 19:16)
• Lions are widely known as maintaining a family unit. They live in prides and work together to hunt and defend their family. It is one of our strongest desires to instill an unbreakable sense of family with our children.
• Lions are used to symbolize wisdom, courage, strength, pride, and military might.

We’re wicked excited to begin this journey and I pray that God will continue to lead us!

6 Years of Wedded Bliss

3.9.13 – 3.9.19

It’s hard to believe it’s been 6 years since our magical wedding day! Our love story and marriage has always felt like i’m living my own real life fairy tale. (Cheesy, I know! I live for cheesy) That’s especially the case for our anniversaries. We’ve always tried to do something exciting to celebrate and we haven’t let the Army interfere too badly (so far).

This year was no exception and we were able to book a marvelous weekend in Lake Placid at the Mirror Lake Inn. Our room overlooked the frozen lake with ice skating, snowshoeing, and dog sleds right out our front door. You could say we have a thing for B&B’s since we were married in one and honeymooned in some in Ireland, and this had the feel of one for sure!

We had beautiful scenery and gorgeous weather the entire weekend so we headed up to Whiteface Mountain to see the views from the gondola. We’re so thankful to live where we do and see some of the most beautiful sights surrounding us. We took a bit of a driving tour around and to check out the area, and finished everything off with a horse drawn sleigh ride!! Peaceful, serene, calm and SNOWY mountain views at sunset, what could be better than that? We started our marriage in a horse drawn carriage so it was extra special to be able to take our kids for a ride on our anniversary!

Our marriage has had its share life’s ups and downs and growth; we’ve faced illnesses, hurts from others, struggles with infertility and the Army life; but we have always placed each other first even before ourselves. We defend each other no matter what. I’m so thankful for a godly man who leads our family, the kids and I are so blessed to have him!

I can’t wait to see what the next 6 years bring us!

PCS Adventures with Toddlers

Let’s talk road trips with toddlers! In December, 2 weeks before Christmas, we PCS’d or moved from Fort Rucker, Alabama to Fort Drum, New York. It was about 1200 miles total and we broke it up into 6 days so we could have fun and not rush it. We’re no strangers to PCS’ing since this was our 3rd, but it’s the longest distance we’ve gone and the kids weren’t babies anymore. (I still can’t decide which is harder…toddlers or breastfed but sleepy babies.

By the Numbers:
2 Vehicles
2 Adults
2 2-year olds
1 RV/camper
1 Boston Terrier
8 Total states!

Tip 1: Break up the trip: We stopped for overnights in Fort Campbell, KY – Lebanon, OH – and Buffalo, NY to break it up and see friends and family along the way. It gave the kids a chance to run, play, and get some wiggles out without being cooped up in the car all day everyday. This made the trip a lot more fun and way less stress…for the most part!  We also had our camper so we had a familiar place to stay every night that gave the kids a sense of normalcy.  By the time we arrived in New York, however, we were all tired and definitely ready to get settled!

Tip 2: Every day the kids received a new toy to play with to start off the drive with something fun and exciting. This helped for a whole 10-20 minutes every day 🙂

Tip 3: I always swore I wouldn’t be “that parent”, but we installed a Kindle in between their seats so that they could watch movies when they became truly restless. We are “extended rear-facing” so my van’s DVD player wouldn’t help us in this situation. I purchased a $20 arm that attached to the headrest and it worked like a charm!

In the end, we do what works to keep everyone sane and mostly happy. What tips and tricks do you have from a move or relocation with kids?

Be A Beautiful Snowflake

Did you know that no two snowflakes are the same? God, in his infinite wisdom created each individual snowflake with its own signature that compound to fill the beautiful snow that we get to experience here in the North Country. We finally experienced our first decent snowstorm and it’s so soothing for me to watch. It really had me thinking God’s amazing design for this Earth and for us.

God doesn’t make mistakes. And He didn’t make a mistake with me or you either.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.” ~ Psalm 139:14

I’ve always been somewhat of a people pleaser and i’ve always been so hurt when people don’t like me or approve of me, but over the years I’ve learned the hard lesson of being myself no matter what. Deep down I’ve often wondered what my parents would think, what friends and family will talk about behind my back, or how people will judge me for certain things that I do.

That’s certainly not fun and it’s no way to spend your life. Becoming a Mom myself changed so many things about me (as it should). I often reflect on how I’m living and examine it through their eyes. Am I demonstrating behavior that I want them to replicate and showing them a healthy way of living? I love my children for who they are and who God has destined them to be, not who I picture they’ll be. But I never want them to constantly stress about what others think so I need to be the example.

If you live trying to please others or change for who you’re dating, what your parents want (As an adult), what a “friend” wants then the world is missing out on someone truly amazing! You’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

Most people hate the cold and the snow, but we LOVE it. A lot of people hate tattoos, and we love them. I’m sure people disagree with aspects of our parenting, my political beliefs, my sports teams, etc. In the words of Rachel Hollis in Girl, Wash Your Face, “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business!”

If people sit and listen to gossip about you (especially without defending you), those are not your people. If they hate the core of who you are, they are not your people. If they don’t care whether or not they miss out on important events in your life or if the relationship is always one-sided, they are not your people. If they don’t care about hurting you, not your people either. Surround yourself with those who love the raw, real you no matter what!

Now, I’m not one of those who believes that if it’s not harming others then it’s okay. As a Christian the Bible is my guide. My spiritual leadership aids in this. And, as a wife, my husband is my other half and I submit to Him as the leader of our household.

Life is too short. And the world deserves ME. Not a filtered chameleon.

Update from the NORTH Country

TeamGrim is wrapping up one of the craziest months we’ve ever had (and that’s saying a lot)! It started with Ryan’s graduation from flight school (more to come on that later), continued with a 1400 mile PCS from Ft. Rucker, Alabama to Ft. Drum, NY, and then we threw in Christmas with some snow!

We’ve been in our house now for 3 weeks and are already LOVING our new duty station. We’ve wanted to get back to the North since we were married and we are FINALLY here. Moving is one of my favorite benefits in the military life, but this one was a bit more intense that we expected. Turns out that two crazy weeks of packing, driving, stops, colds, and making a new house a home takes its toll on toddlers.

Logan and Emma are old pros with road trips and PCS/change as Army brats. Overall, they did amazing! But it was still a lot to take in when you’re not even 2 1/2.

We’ve had a few little snow storms with a couple of inches each to play in, we saw Santa come in from Canada to Sackets Harbor, attended a Watertown Wolves hockey game, saw Disney on Ice in Syracuse, and celebrated Christmas & New Year’s already!

We’re still working on getting 100% settled and enjoying having Daddy home on PCS leave with us. We have a lot more adventure and challenges headed our way in 2019, but we are anxious for all that is to come!

Thanks for following along on our journey!

~Melissa G.